Lately I’ve been feeling a little undefined in my art work. Not in the sense of not knowing who I am; what’s my purpose…I’ve had that figured out since I was 12. No. This fuzzy, undetermined feeling is more ‘how to’ than ‘what for’.
Honestly, this is not an unfamiliar place for me. I know this place. It’s the perception that I don’t have a clue where I’m going, or that I’ve encountered a stalemate (‘stale’ being the optimum word) and need to move in another direction; which brings about indecision because I don’t have a clue (I think we covered this already). My circular thoughts only bring about a string of unproductive days.
Recognizing this, I keep working on the same stuff that brought me to this place of nagging uncertainty. That may sound a bit counter intuitive – but really, once I’m aware that the work needs to change, shift, grow, it will come about rather seamlessly without the fear of jumping in with both feet. However, if I stop working to consider change, wonder where it will take me, how I will get there or what I’ll have to leave behind, I will hesitate at every turn – never taking those first steps. I will be caught in a centripetal logic that will throw me further from my focus.
So then, in the midst of these blurred edges, I’ve finished a few commission pieces, continued to create inventory and struggled with distractions (perhaps I should stop early for lunch…or clean out the ‘potentially art’ junk drawers…maybe develop a storage system for raw materials according to chemical compounds based on their atomic numbers…) knowing there is to come the challenge in growing.
Change is on the way. We’ve been introduced (a time or two). I welcome the challenge. Already jumped in.
related post: ‘ch-ch-ch-cha-changes’